Cleave Unto None Else

 

Before the Marriage

 

 Having a son, I now understand all of my mother in laws reservations about our engagement and marriage. My husband is the oldest son, among five daughters. He has makes his mother smile, He makes her laugh, he makes her heart soar with pride at every accomplishment, every hug, every kiss, and every tender word. She loves him dearly.

Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife” When we announced our engagement she was less than pleased, She was actually cold and distant. She said not a word the entire night. I couldn’t understand why, why was she against our marriage? We were young and wanted to be married in the right place, at the right time. She felt her son needed more time. He should either join the army and wait until he was an officer or until he had completed his degree.He never had any notion of joining the military. She made planning the wedding difficult, every time we would set a date she would have a new reason why she couldn’t attend that time of year. There was the chill in the air in March , the summer season of growing in June, her family trip in August, and then winter was upon us in October. It started to make me question my fiance. After nine months of engagement and still no date I realized that I would have a huge mother in law problem in my marriage. I gave him his ring back and told him that when he wants to marry me, and is ready to set a date let me know. It was very hard. But I figured if she was already running our marriage this much and we weren’t even married then afterwards it would be awful.

A few months passed and he gave me the ring back. He had a date, he wanted to check if I was available and was going to tell his parents if they were there it would be wonderful but if not we were still going to get married. They attended! They came into town the night before and left right after the sealing. It was a very short encounter but I thought that it was important to make our marriage come first.

 

After the Marriage

 

James Harper and Suzanne Olsen said, “living close to mother in laws bring strength and relationship development.” It took a while but I found this statement to be accurately true.

Nine months after we were married my husband said he felt that we should move close to his parents, three states away. I was willing to move but apprehensive to stay with my in-laws. It was the best decision we could have made. We were expecting our first child and she was welcomed and adored instantly. My relationship with my mother in law has taken many years to develop but we are very close. She tells me she thinks I am the only daughter she can live with in her older age. I let her be her, and I don’t mind her little quirks I actually enjoy them, they remind me of my husband.

 

 

Being One

 

Our ultimate goal as a family is to return back to Heaven and live with our Heavenly Father as a family. Sometimes it seems that we forget that the relationships that are developed here are the ones that we will be taking with us after this life. It astounds me to see families that have this privilege to be sealed for eternity be so disconnected. We are looking forward to the eternal blessings but are we doing all we can now to develop eternal relationships?

 

Family Council

 

One of the best ways of developing better family relationships is to work on having family counsel. When we started family council it was because as a mom, I was overwhelmed. We had so many activities in so many places I couldn’t keep up. We also needed to talk about some of the problems within our family. Our family council has been a blessing to our family. We take time every Sunday night to read scriptures as a family and then have family council. Everyone is allowed a voice, they can let their concerned be known as well as their opinions on any matter. We try and make it a safe place for all in the family.

Elder Ballard said we should be more concerned with not with our own point of view but we should find ways to listen to the point of view of others. I think is good advice for family counsels as well. When we seek to listen for what others are truly saying we will be able to better understand how we can meet our families needs. In one counsel a daughter brought up an issue she was having with one of her siblings teasing. After listening to her and pondering what could be done. We made some decisions as a family which helped us grow closer as a family and meet the needs of my daughter.

 

Unity and Love

Studying President Eyring’s talk, “That We May Be One” I found myself really paying attention to the scriptures that he used. In Doctrine and Covenants 38:27, Behold, this I have given unto you as a parable, and it is even as I am. I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.  I shared this with my family for family home evening. We talked about ways we could become one. My younger children were quiet, and we talked about using kinder words and actions. The last few days there has been an improvement. I am hopeful that as we continue to rely on each other at family home evening, family counsel, and even family scripture study they will have their hearts knit together in unity and love.