Covenant Marriage

Two Types of Marriage

 

Marriage is a wonderful institution. Attending a wedding brings joy not only to those that are married but to countless others as well; family and friends gather around to celebrate the commitment two people make to each other. This type of marriage is what is considered a contract marriage, a marriage that has a contract that ends after a certain time, death. I believe that there can be more to this union than to death do you part. I believe that we can be married for time and all eternity. We can make covenants with our spouse and our Heavenly Father that allows us to seal our marriage for ever. This type of marriage is what is considered a covenant marriage. It will last forever as long as the husband and wife keeps the covenants they make.

 

A sweet story on the importance of a covenant marriage: 

 

 

A Covenant Marriage

 

A marriage for eternity can only take place in a temple of God. There are many temples around the earth today. These temples allow a man to be sealed to his wife for time and all eternity and they as parents can be sealed to their children forever as well.  

Elder Bruce C. Hafen stated that, “Troubles come to a covenant marriage, the couple works through them.”1 This does not mean that marriage is easy, or will be without problems. In my life I’ve learned that the problems in my marriage have helped us grow closer together as a couple and closer together to God.

“Marry to Give and to Grow”

 

            This was also another quote from Elder Hafen. I like how in this simple quote on marriage, it focuses on serving our spouse, only by giving of ourselves are we able to grow together. Elder Hafen warns of three wolves that we should watch for in our marriage. They can come at any time, by either spouse.

The first “wolf” that sneaks into our marriage is Natural adversity, problems that just come. The death of a loved one or even a child, downturn in economy, loss of a job. All these trials just happen we have to be patient through these trials as we work together to overcome them.

The second wolf that can sneak into marriage is one of our own imperfection. We all are different, with these differences comes the good and the bad. We need to be forgiving of each other’s weaknesses that we might dislike. I tell my husband that he is perfect except for the fact that his socks make it almost into the laundry hamper. I choose not to pick at him with fault finding he chooses not to see my mountain of imperfections that I come with.

The third wolf is excessive individualism. In Matthew 19:5..for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh. We are often told that when you marry you should hold some of yourself back, that you are not overshadowed by your husband who will dominate the relationship. When we both give equal amounts and are concerned with each other’s needs most of all, we aren’t left behind but are able to join together as equal partners and have a opportunity to get to know our spouse even more. When selfishness slips into our marriage we tend to disagree more and let our own selfish desires come first. In my marriage, when we disagree and it lasts more than a few hours, I find it helps to make his favorite cookies, leave him a treat, or even text him a joke. Simple things are what has broken the silence and made our hearts soften so that we can talk. I found when the distance is the largest drastic measures are needed. Many years ago, I found we had a huge disagreement that seemed to last for a few days, I wasn’t sure how I could get us to start talking again, so I purchased two cards to leave in his vehicle while he was at work. The first said, I am sorry you are feeling ill, I wrote at the bottom of the message, “being a jerk makes everyone sick.” The second card said, congratulations on your baby boy I signed both cards and left them with a candy bar. I received a call quickly after he got off of work, we both were able to laugh, talk, and realize we were both being silly.        

To make marriage last we need to be aware of what can weaken our marriage either through our weaknesses or through the influences around us. We work to guard against these weaknesses by working together. When we have a covenant marriage we know that although we have our problems we can overcome anything together. It is worth it. 

                                          

 

References:

1. Hafen, Bruce C.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/covenant-marriage?lang=eng

Short clip on how one person supports their spouse.

https://www.mormonchannel.org/watch/series/mormon-messages/building-families

Our big funny family

Legally a Family

Families are historically the only organization that can be referred to across culture and divides the organization everyone can universally relate to. The word family in almost every language brings to mind a mother, father and children. Families have been around since the world was created it was the one group that continued as the times changed from medieval to enlightenment, from the great depression to the baby boom, through wars and peace there have always been families. These families have consisted of a father, mother, and children. As families have lived through the centuries laws have been created to protect these families.

Lately our society is  attempting to redefine what the family is and what makes a family. In this day and age views of families are veering away from the traditional organization known throughout history. We, as modern-advanced thinkers think we can debate and change the roles in a family and that it will work out well for everyone involved, we as a society are sadly mistaken.

                                       

According to the Law

 

The supreme court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. (2015) Supreme Court of the United States, that the right to Marry should be extended to all; man and man as well as women and women. The highest court of law in our civilization has taken it upon themselves to redefine marriage for our society now and for future generations to come. While the argument to change this law is well known, I think it’s important to note the dissent that took place in the court as well.

Dissenting votes were given by Judges; Scalia, Thomas, Alito and Roberts. They each gave compelling reasons for disagreeing with the majority on this decision. Some of the reasons ruling in favor of marriage consisting of a man and women are; as a society we cannot allow nine non-elective ,by the voice of the people, officials to legislate our laws, they are to uphold the laws already made and not enact new laws by rulings and judgements they hand down. Justice Roberts dissent is based on many ideas from a moral obligation to uphold the traditional family as God has outlined for all, as well as a legal obligation to uphold the constitution and it;s own restrictions on the supreme court.

Scalia’s dissention comes from the idea that 5 justices are showing that every state has violated the 14th amendment for 135 years.  Thomas dissent was from the definition of liberty as a freedom from government actions not entitlement to government benefits. Alito felt that the question should be left to the people, through a vote, and not the judiciary system by the ruling of 9 people.

Moral Laws

 

    I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormons, I believe marriage should be between Man and a Woman for reasons that support society and family. I feel that Marriage protects our children with a mother and father in a married union, to ensure the comfort and protection of their children.

In a statement by Russell M. Nelson, a leader in our church he states, “ True partners can achieve more than the sum of each acting alone...great partners are completely loyal..they suppress personal ego in exchange for being part of creating something larger than themselves.” Family is the creation he is talking about. When as a man and woman we put aside our wants and desires and work towards the goal of making an environment that benefits our children

The Birth of a Family

 

My own family was born 18 years and 1 month ago. I have been married for 19 years, but it didn’t seem like a real family until the birth of our first child. Our family was truly created when we held our little girl for the first time. After 8 hours of labor, a stillness seemed to permeate over the room as she was born, all noises seemed to disappear and the only thing that mattered was this tiny infant that was placed into my arms. I can’t quite explain the emotion of having a child but the love and attachment was instantaneous, powerful and complete. My husband seemed to crumble as this little being was placed into his arms, his powerful shoulders sighed and seemed to enfold this little girl, tears filled his eyes and an instant bond was formed more powerful than we ever could have imagined. The strong man that let me know early in our courtship that he can’t change diapers and clean vomit because he would become physically ill, changed the first 3 diapers, and sprung out of bed at the first whining cry in the still evening hours. He has cleaned every imaginable mess, calmed uncontrollable tears and cheered embarrassingly loud at our children’s sporting events.

I credit all these changes in both of us, due to the formation of our family, married for not only time but eternity and focused on making the very best life we can for our children. We are putting aside our goals and interests to pursue what is best for our children. This solid foundation helps reassure children that a mom and dad are here for their benefit.

 

References

Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. (2015). Supreme Court of the United States https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/14pdf/14-556_3204.pdf

(Russell M Nelson, Disciples of Jesus Christ-Defenders of Marriage, 14 August 2014)

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/russell-m-nelson_disciples-jesus-christ-defenders-marriage/